I received this joke from a co-worker,I'm sure some may have seen it already. Since my boss is giving up being nice for lent (that's what she told me) I'll sacrifice being selfish and share this with you all.


The following were taken off of actual police car videos around the
country.

"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
out after you wear them awhile."

"Take your hands off the car, or I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't
know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."

"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

"Just how big were those two beers?"

"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now
we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

and the best one . . .


"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.

Sign here!"

_________________
"Down with democracy... we need more dictatorships"! Galamoth
"Derms, celebrate your independance"! Babz

lmao! Dunna is the last one something they say to you? lol jk

HAHAHAHAHA... nice try Floks, actually I would like to be a cop for a weekend. There are several "Princesses" I know that I would love to pull over and issue tickets too. I'm not a hater but they get away with too much crap, and lately since it's winter the amount of perfume and hairspray in the air at work is killing me.

I want to give tickets for jay-walking, littering, popping chewing gum, speeding, smoking in public areas without insuring the smoke cloud doesn't smack people in the face. Bad breath, ugly hair do's, frightening make-up, too much perfume, too much jewelry, for talking so loud on their phone that I was hijacked into the convo, for asking dumb questions for attention, and for generally being a pain in the rear!

These ladies are of different backrounds aka education levels, ethnicity, age... the only common thread is they are very attractive... and they know it and joke about what they can get away with!

_________________
"Down with democracy... we need more dictatorships"! Galamoth
"Derms, celebrate your independance"! Babz

Dunna ya ever though about wearing a skirt?

_________________

rofl!!!!!!!! hehahahahahaaaaaaa o my that was fun!

_________________